Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
If you cry loudly enough at a Walmart everyone will just assume you work there.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
Is Nudeism a religion?
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well...my phone number for a start
I know what I`m getting for Christmas ... Fat. I`m getting fat.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"