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Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits I`m grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.
So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you`ve fallen off the face of the earth?
I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
for every like, I will fart on my wife face
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box