Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey thinks that I`m the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don`t feel trained for this, and I certainly didn`t sign up for the position.
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it`s in.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.