Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee.
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it`s the duct tape of food.
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it`s been since you`ve had a date?
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
The best part of my divorce was how I woke up and I hadn`t done anything wrong
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?