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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.
I’m pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
If you haven`t used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you`re not me.
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.