Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I never know the proper etiquette with the pizza delivery guy. Do I kiss him before or after paying him?
Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere.
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
You have your whole life to be an a$$hole...are you trying to use it all up in one day?
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
It’s not my fault God gave you boobs to stare at.