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This time change has me all messed up. Driving with my hands at 11 and 3 is hard
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
Some days I’d like to take a chainsaw and cut a few branches off my family tree.
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
Does it count as saving someone`s life if you just refrain from killing them?
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
If someone hates you for no apparent reason, give them one.
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
In a parallel alternate universe, my cat and my dog have jobs and I chill at home.
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
Chase you? ... B!tch please, I don`t even chase my liquor.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"