Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
I`d better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I`d better get some friends...
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
The statement `Hey! Calm down!` has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
On demand sucks. Hoarders made me fill up the dumpster and clean the house. Now I want to collect coupons and go to the pawn shop....
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"
These Jehovah`s Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.