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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re a terrible person and had it coming.
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
I slept on the sofa last night which is weird because I`m not even married.
When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "PLOT TWIST!" and move on.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".
Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you`re getting ready to take hostages.
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?