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Iād be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
You can test my patience all you want, but Iām never going to pass.
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
My friends were alway so nice. They were like "of course you`re not fat! Come on, grab two chairs and sit with us" :)
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.
I`m getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I`ve been to in the last week that`s had "insufficient funds".