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60% of women fake orgasm.. 100% of men don`t give a sh*t about it..
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
Today I learned that not all people like ventriloquists. Particularly my gynecologist.
When everything is coming your way ... You`re in the wrong lane.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed.