Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
Ever work out and think "wow I really needed that"? That`s how I feel about the chocolate chip cookie I just ate.
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
My short-term memory is my ONLY problem..... Well, that, and my short-term memory
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.