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Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
The black sheep always have the best stories.
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
I was planning to do something today, but I haven’t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it`s the scientists that aren`t washing their hands?
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
A bachelor party is a lot more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.