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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.
I`m always extra nice to the weird kid, so one day he`ll spare my life when he finally snaps.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people.
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
That kid looks like me. Somebody should warn him.
I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.
Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
Whenever you feel nobody cares or loves you. You should ask yourself...Am I TOO sexy?
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.