Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the shit out of you.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Who did you vote for?? Clinton ? Trump ? Vodka
I don’t want to rule the world… Just everything within a hundred square mile radius.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
It’s a holiday. You know what that means… Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.