Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Salad tastes pretty good once you add some pizza and get rid of the salad.
My wife’s new cooking show will be called, "Do you smell Something Burning?"
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
If today were a fish, I`d throw it back.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.