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Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
Karaoke bars combine two of the worlds greatest evils—people who shouldn`t drink with people who shouldn`t sing.
I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
What a lovely winter we`re having this spring.
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
Dear future boyfriend/girlfriend, where the hell are you?
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
If you see me smiling in public it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
If opportunity doesn`t knock, build a door.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, I’d like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.