Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer.
I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
Why do cops get mad when other cops have jurisdiction over a case? I`d be like cool I`m going home to eat.
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
I was born to be happy… not normal.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.