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LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.
At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I`ll never know.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.