Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
Tip: When you’re not famous, people don’t let you pay for things with an autographed napkin.
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
Edward Scissorhands will never win a game of rock, paper, scissors.
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
If your wife asks you if you know where the broom is, it`s not a good idea to ask her if she is going somewhere.
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?