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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you`re fighting with your brother.
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.
I sometimes get road rage just pushing a shopping cart though a grocery store!