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I think I`m a grown up the same way Dr. Phil is a doctor.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
The girl at the Taco Bell drive thru gave me this “I know your high” look. I snatched my 37 crunchy tacos and got out of there.
First thing I do when I realize I’m lost…turn the radio down.
I use my imagination to solve problems. And by imagination, I mean booze.
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.
If we all had to wear a warning label, what would yours say?