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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like Iām choking it to death.
Singing passionately in the shower: Pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower: Not so much.
Have I posted my Alzheimers joke yet?
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
I was born at a very early age.
I`d go to church if they had Wi-Fi.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She`s now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don`t negotiate with terrorists!!
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.