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Put that down you fat piece of sh!t` - the title of the dieting book I`m writing.
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
Went down the gym and burnt 1200 calories today. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven!
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
If it was the other way around, I doubt one cat would take in 23 old ladies.
My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine`s Day she’s getting a magazine rack
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can`t be with them for the holidays. But don`t be jealous.
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I’m a woman. And we never forget. Anything. Ever.
Is everything expensive or am I simply poor?
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.