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I believe in love at first episode.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
When your kids become teenagers, it`s important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.