Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
Im thinking about writing a book about my life, I just have to wait for the statue of limitations to expire.
I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles
I really have to stop using this little microphone on my phone that types whatever you say as it keeps making mistakes punctuation point