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When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
Why do baby clothes have pockets?
My kids refuses to play with the Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
Some days I feel about as useful as the pants in Donald Duck`s closet.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.
I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it`s from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.