Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wine: How classy people get trashed.
On the bright side, all that coal will keep me warm this winter.
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
I always give waiters a tip, but they never seem to appreciate my advice.
My moral in life is simple. You treat me good and I`ll treat you better.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
I`m laying on my yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I`m in "downward facing chalk outline".
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
I don`t care how loud I`m laughing, I`m having fun and you`re not.