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You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
"Thanks for coming" - sperm bank receptionist.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
Save water, shower together.
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.
Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them much more often
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.