Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.
"And then I rented a monster truck and drove it through their f*cking house!" - How all my stories would end if I was a billionaire.
When I was a kid…no wait, I still do that.
You know what’s worse than slow internet? NOTHING.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.