Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Worry: a waste of imagination.
I swear that logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
I love sleep because its like a time machine to breakfast.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?