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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
The best way to make a bad day better is by adding alcohol.
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
Hey bartender, pour me another, I see ugly people.
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 8 times,......Your probably a woman.
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
If you’ve been naughty… go to your room. If you want to be naughty… go to mine.