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Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Condoms prevent minivans.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
Deaf people don`t have safe words, they use stop signs.
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
I play hard to get along with.