Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ended a relationship today. Don`t worry, it wasn`t mine.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
Note to self... next time my wife asks what`s on tv, don`t say dust
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: