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I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
It`s not an attitude problem, it`s the way I am.
Just found out the government won`t hire you past age 37. Scratch Navy SEAL off my to do list
Sixth in line to the throne takes on a different meaning when you’re not in the royal family but in a dive bar.
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.
I feel like a nickle in the March of Dimes.