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"If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best" literally translates to "I`m a loud, sloppy drunk."
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it.. So now I have to live in constant fear.. O_o
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.