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I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
If anyone is interested I`ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
I have a black belt in leather
When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.