Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
I get a little nervous eating cucumber in a single woman`s home.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
I bet there`s a rapper trying to figure out a way to replace his teeth with LED lights
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on