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If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
This status is mine....I licked it.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
My walk of shame is when I have to take all the the empty Taco Bell bags out of my car and bring them to the garbage can.
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
Trying to be less negative but it`ll never work.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me