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The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
I got in an elevator with a lady with big breasts. She said could you press one for me please. I did and that was the last thing I remember
I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal.
Whenever I check my weight, I always subtract 5 pounds. I don`t think that boobs and brains this fabulous should count against me.
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
PRO TIP: Date someone who doesn`t drink vodka so she won`t drink all of yours.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day