Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
Today is National I Don`t Feel Like Doing Sh!t Day. Celebrate accordingly.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.