Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
Roses are red, dead ones are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
"I didn`t get your text" is the new "my dog ate my homework"
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.
Spank me once, shame on you. Spank me twice, now we`re getting somewhere.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?