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When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
Gym update: not there
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
why do i feel like you are reading this
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you cant have anymore food and im just never ready for that kind of commitment
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?