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Never look back. That’s where all the monsters are.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it…
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.