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I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
Is there a 5-second Rule for when you drop babies? ...Asking for a friend. JK people!!! LOL ;)
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.