Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
Wish my girlfriend was awake, could really do with a sandwich right now.
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn`t starving!!
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.