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Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn`t 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
My dad`s TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
I’m in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I really don’t have Tourette’s
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!