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My boss said we needed to find ways to save time and be more productive, so I just moved the coffee maker to my desk
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets??
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.