Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
What I do when I black out is none of my business.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
Must be lonely over there on "I`m offended by jokes" island.
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
My favorite thing around the holidays is being put into a group message with 200 people reply "Who`s This"
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.