Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Turning your signal light on once you`ve already changed lanes is just about as useful as offering to help the old lady across the street AFTER she`s already been hit by a school bus full of screaming children. Just sayin`
What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn`t make sandwiches? A compromise.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
Dating would be a lot easier if the opposite sex had a tail. That way, I could see if it was wagging or not after I did or said something.
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
Will you go with me to my therapist tomorrow? He thinks I`m making you up.
That moment when I try and be helpful to a blind man getting off the bus by saying, "watch your step"
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)