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Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c`mon...even I`ve done THAT!"
I just lost another hour trying to figure out how to reset the clock in my car.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!:D
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.