Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
Drive-Thru Workers: The longer you make me wait in line, the more change will be used for my payment...
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Apparently, "they" have never been to jail.
I told my wife that I have a sexual satisfaction guarantee policy. If you`re not completely satisfied, we`ll just do it all over again. Guaranteed.
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don`t know where I belong.
All I need right now is a hug ... And five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
When in doubt, read Facebook Statuses, you`ll see you`re not the only crazy one around