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Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
My friend works at a rubber dog poop factory. He`ll never get rich, but he makes doo.
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
Just hung a picture. I nailed it.
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
I think today I`m going to cut off the sleeves of my snuggie and walk around the neighborhood pretending I`m in a Clint Eastwood western movie.
She was rare, like an onion ring in french fries
Heat makes things expand. So I don`t have a weight problem...I`m just HOT.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
I have no idea why they say that counting sheep helps you fall asleep. This farm is freezing and these cows are noisy as hell.
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.